Honesty

A relationship poem...

What do you do when you love somebody and don’t want to

When you’re haunted by the possibility of them not wanting you

When a thought of life together evokes more fear than cheer

And you’re scared to get close to anyone out of fear that they might hear

Your heart beat change when that person comes around

Therefore letting everyone know that you’re putting on a front

When you force your face to frown

Well maybe it’s not a front

Because you really don’t want them there

Scared that being around them

Will force you to care

Way more than is comfortable

Even though the fact of the matter is

That if you’re really honest you’ll admit that you really want to

And the only thing holding you back

Is that you don’t know if they care about you

If they could potentially be thinking about you too

Wanting to know you

Get close to you

Spend time uninterrupted discovering all of you

The real you

The deep down hidden you

That is really true

And deciding then to love you all the more

Opening what was once thought to be a permanently closed door

To the secret places in your heart

That kept other folks out

Forcing many relationships to never start

Not because there was something wrong with what they could see

But because that person just didn’t possess the right combination of keys

That could unlock all locks

Remove all the chains

Make you want to finally give love a real chance

Even at the risk of pain

Because to love them is to make yourself vulnerable

To open yourself up to pain believed unbearable

If things don’t go the way that you think they should

But being with them makes you think that you could

At least give it a try

Because you finally recognize that you’re not really living

If you spend all of your time afraid to die

And waste so many moments wondering why

He left

Or never came

Replaying past mistakes

Reliving old shame

You see all of it will become irrelevant

If you find out this new love was heaven sent

Especially designed

Created in a way that would bring ease to your mind

Not because loving them is easy

Or even logical

But because being with them could help you imagine the impossible

Things like conquering the world together

Changing lives with your plans

Making other young women up their standards

So they can have that kind of man.

One that makes their heart smile

Even in disappointment

Who can erase old scares better than any Neosporin ointment

Recognizing that your life is changed because of how they love you

And although mathematically impossible makes other recognize that it is logical

To believe that one plus one doesn’t always equal two

But just a greater one

When it’s the two of you brought together

Under the power of the S-O-N SON

Thinking about all of it is enough to make you want to try it

Or at least stop trying to deny it

Because the truth will set you free only if you stop lying about it

And maybe in accepting that truth you will have a chance

To see what could happen if things transitioned and you moved past friendship to romance.

Do You Remember The Time

So yes, this was the title to one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs, but it is also an overused theme in the enemy’s camp. Over the years I have found that when I am even slightly on task, the devil will take extra special care to remind me of all of the things that were negative in my past. No matter what place I’m in currently he seeks with all of his power, which really isn’t much when you think about it, to take me back to the place the I used to be in, feeling the feelings that I used to feel there, thinking the thoughts that I once thought, with the people that I used to be around. There is generally a reason that all of that stuff; the places, thoughts, feelings, and people, are in my past and didn’t make it to my present, and he tries to negate all of that and get them there anyway.

The unfortunate thing is that his suggestions are somewhat powerful. They will get you to start journeying back into time to relive some of those moments. Usually he’ll start with some of the more positive ones, but without fail he’s going to hit you with the negative sooner or later, and it’s the negative thoughts that cause us to miss the mark currently. It’s the negative thoughts that will make us self sabotage in our current walk. It’s the negative thoughts that will have us doubting people in our present relationships. It’s the negative thoughts that will have us believing that we’re not worthy of great friendships or relationships. It’s the negative thoughts that will drive us over the edge of sanity and reason, and have us doubting everything that we honestly know in our hearts to be true. And at the end of the day that’s all that the enemy really wants and needs.

He doesn’t really care whether or not we’re doing things that are evil. He just needs to make sure that we are not doing what we’re supposed to be doing at the time. You see when we’re purposeful he’s in danger. That’s when we reach people for the Kingdom of God. That’s when people get to experience the love of Jesus Christ through us. That’s when people know that they’re life is not over. That’s when people learn that God is a God of many chances because of his mercy and grace. That’s when they realize that there really is a way out of the hell that they’re experiencing. That’s when people make a decision to walk away from the foolishness and into their own purpose. That’s when people find their freedom to fully be who God created them to be. There is liberation for others in us being on task. That’s why we have to make it a number one priority in our lives.

All of this to say that the next time the devil whispers in your ear, “Do you remember the time?” respond in kind. Ask him if he remembers the time that God saved your life when he shouldn’t have. When God should have punished you but he didn’t. When God provided for you when you didn’t have any money. When God loved you when you were your most unloveable. I find that those types of memories usually shut up his foolishness really quickly. They also serve as a catalyst to keep you on track and focused on the things that really matter in your life which are living 100% for God and focusing on his purpose for you in this day.